Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Doin' Valentine's Day Stuff

Now and then I do stuff.

It's this kind of stuff, but stuff nonetheless.

When you're dieting over Valentine's Day and you need to distract yourself from chocolate truffles and champagne, tea can seem pretty exciting. This Yogi Caramel Apple Spice Snack Tea is my friend lately. I think the idea that tea is considered a "snack" is both extremely accurate and depressing. Anyhow, working on some details to lure our minds away from what we're missing and I thought, felt hearts! Felt hearts are my go-to. For everything. Take a trip back to this for more on that business. So, felt hearts make tea more festive and bakers twine makes everything awesome.

No need for step-by-step instructions here, right?

My Valentine's Day wish for you is that you don't have to make tea festive because your face is filled with chocolate. Vosges is our usual Valentine's Day tradition. Do yourself a favor and eat box. Report back in full detail. I fully plan on having a do-over Valentine's Day that will include Vosges in my face.

And I'm off to have a "snack"...

Thursday, February 7, 2013


Remember that auto-save thingie I mentioned last time? So, I'm still a moron. Another blog bites the dust.
So, I do "stuff", hence the name and also the lack of time to blog. It's tough to blog when you're doing stuff, but I'll get there.
Here's a completely ridiculous, self-indulgent statement for you; I want to record the stuff I do or did so that I can link up to my stuff on Pinterest. I've found three different things that I've done, floating around Pinterest and there's no, "Yella did this shit" to be found.
Zach Morrris Time Out:
Every time I see Yelladoesstuff I think of adult related activies, a la Debbie Does Dallas and various other locales. To clarify, Yella does not to THAT stuff on the blog.
Time in.
The party planning is in full swing, which means lots of trips to random places to find various things. So many places, that yesterday evening when I asked my future birthday boy if he wanted to go "bye-bye", I was met with a definitive, "Noooo".
Between the running around and the constant glittering that's happening, I've been pressed for time and have found myself planning at night. By this I mean I am up at 3 am comparing eleventy billion different types of wooden spoons or tracking down things like oh, lets just say, small milk bottles with a very specific lid. You haven't lived until you find your self perusing a dairy farm's website in the middle if the night trying to rationalize the purchase of a pallet of milk jugs. Sometimes this is the stuff that is done. However, I may have found a solution with Starbucks, which is where most solutions come from. Coffee fixes all things.

I'll let you know how that works out. Also, there will be lots of Vanilla frappucchino going down the drain at my house. I'll save it in a jug for you if you want.
Yet another reason to own a pallet of milk bottles.
And I found (supposedly) non-poisonous Luchadores action figures at the dollar store, because of course I did. Lead-free is the way to be, y'all. I'm wondering if I can paint them in Nacho Libre colors.
This is the "stuff".

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Fun Facts For the Fourth

Because it's the fourth.
And because I'm blogging everyday, so...

1. This is the second time I've written this blog because I didn't save it, like a moron. And now I feel like it's back in the day before auto-save and you had to, like, constantly save your shit.

2. There are no little plastic luchadors for sale in the US. Evidently the adorable little luchadores I am seeing all over Pinterest are full of poison and are not suitable for sale here, BUT you can pick them up in Mexico and the UK. Ponder.

3. Speaking of Pinterest, I have a Shameful Secret Obsessions board, which also includes things that freak me out. Peruse at your leisure and we'll compare notes in a later blog.

4. My husband loves this video clip and says, "Gurrrl please" at least once a day. There is also an almost two year old who says this as well. BEST. PARENTS. EVAAAAR.

5. I sold something on eBay today to someone in the Netherlands. So that's more trouble than it's worth.

6. There's something happening in the world, like, Vampire Lift or something? I heard about it via my mother, via her Botox...err, I mean facial...person, and it's something about injecting your own blood somewhere else, like, on your face? Is this going to be a thing?

7. There is an advanced copy of The Hobbit in my possession at this very moment, but it SHOULD be an advanced copy of the first few episodes of Games of Thrones! What good are Hollywood hookups if they can't get it right?!?! Also, I'm extremely ungrateful.

8. I know what happens on the last episode of season 3 of Downton Abbey, because in addition to being ungrateful, I'm also impatient (what a gem, right?) and so I bought the TV pass on Amazon Instant Video.

9. When does Grand Theft Auto 5 come out? Okay, not a fact, but when?

10. The Fun Facts For the Fourth is totally for naught, because its now the Fifth. Sad trombone.

Bloggin' daily, folks. The thrills just keep coming.

Any fun facts for you on the Fourth, or Fifth I guess?

Monday, February 4, 2013

More like Super Suck...

I'm sorry. That wasn't even clever.
I'm having a rough day. Actually, it's the shittiest day ever. EVER. At some point I overestimated my abilities and decided to schedule my diet so that it intersected with Super Bowl Sunday. Intersected isn't the right word. Collided in a fiery explosion of self pity, self deprivation, and sugar-free gum. Yes, that's accurate. This is another reason why resolutions shouldn't start in January. Further, they shouldn't start until after Super Bowl Sunday. Honestly, who the hell thinks it's a great idea to diet on a day that's entire existence is based upon drinking beer and eating every delectable, sinful, indulgent food you can imagine, while sitting in oversized jerseys and watching commercials?!? And there's also a game of some sort.
I am the person that does this. Or has done this, this one time. But, never again, guys. Never. Again.
When I diet, I diet. I focus, I plan, I create deadlines, and I stick to it. Most of the time it's because I'm extremely stubborn and want to see if I can survive it. Evidently I have issues with self-deprivation, which is fun to watch. Enjoy. So, there is no way I can take a "cheat day" or some ridiculous thing like that. Ho ho ho, no! Not this girl. Instead, I suffer through and think that on Monday morning I'll feel like I've accomplished some great feat, albeit a completely unnecessary feat that is completely pointless and makes no difference in the long run. But explaining that to the stubborn little gnome that lives in my brain will get you a disapproving look and probably a kick in the shins. So today, the gnome wins and I will evidently feel elated and full of triumph tomorrow. I'm somewhat positive that this gnome is a sadistic liar.
While "accomplishing" my gnome-imposed goal today (and by "accomplishing" I mean bitching and moaning all day while chewing sugar-free gum), I found myself hiding in the car in front of a rainbow painted pinata store with bars on its windows while an insane man walked into traffic and attempted to fight anything, including moving cars, that crossed his path. I think it goes without saying that I had to travel to the ghetto in order to experience such stunning display of humanity...and probably bath salts. After that delightful outing, we wandered around the Mexican market looking for luchador party supplies, which was super awesome considering that there is obviously mexican food at the Mexican market. This is when the gnome just starts fucking with me for funsies. Anyhow, we left with assorted bottles of Jarritos for the party, which will probably only be used for aesthetic because we don't drink soda and the gnome frowns at sugar, soooo? I also had a moment of, you are the whitest Mexican ever, when I bought multiple cans of tomato paste and enchilada sauce for the sole purpose of using the cute cans for a Pinterest project. Yeah. So that happened.
Then this happened...

And then I watched commercials, chewed more gum, pondered the physics of getting a unicorn horn to stay stuck on my head, Beyonce and her backup singers sang, I sent a video of cats playing a xylophone version of Independent Women to my BBFF, and
Actually, I almost forgot to blog, but my husband asked me if I was blogging when I was emailing wine stores at midnight, as you do, and I thought, you are the worst daily blogger evaaaar! The blog gnome has nothing on the stubborn diet gnome. Actually, the blog gnome is a wuss who get distracted by internet shopping. Loser.
That was the stubborn gnome talking.
Hope you enjoyed a blissful day of carbs and alcohol and football and joy and mirth!!!
I hate you.
Not really, it's just the gnome talking.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Luchadors vs Unicorns: Battle Royale

I love to plan a party. I can tear up a theme party like nobody's business.

*side note: speaking of nobody's business, if you start listening to "none of your business" radio on Pandora, your life will change. You might think I'm crazy now, but after listening, you will think I'm sooo crazy and then you will think you want to have my baby*

So, back to parties. Throwing 'em. I got the skills. My trusty BBFF (of course this is Bitchy Best Friend Forever) and I are like Martha Stewart and her lesser know friend from back in the day who she promptly stabbed in the back, but with out the back stabbing...and we also don't say "herbs" with an audible H sound. We can also get out of hand with the details, but as BBFF recently reminded me as we were pondering the purchase of stuffed unicorns, "we have a reputation to uphold". True. Unicorns, get your horny asses in the cart!

So, right now we are planning two parties. Like, right now, right now. BBFF is FaceTime-ing me from Hobby Lobby and we are discussing rainbow glass bottles and cork sizes. These are the details that we find ourselves discussing. Riveting stuff.

The little man who follows me around most of the time and refers to me as "ma", is turning 2. From what I can tell, he has requested that I throw him a Little Luchador party, and I am happy to oblige. His obsession with Nacho Libre has inspired a deep connection to my Mexican roots and my home has embraced the fine art of Lucha Libre.

Introducing my baby to Mexican wrestling may not have been the smartest idea, which I'm reminded of each time he leaps from the back of the couch onto my head. But nonetheless, he loves Nacho and we will be having a party to cater to his adorable little fleeting interests. When I say that sometimes things get out of hand, I mean that sometimes I entertain the idea of buying a smallish 6' trampoline and setting up a Luchador ring in my living room. You know, as you do. Or inviting mariachis to come by to sing the same song that Nacho sings at the wrestling pros party.

"I am a singing at theee parteee"

That song. Out. Of. Hand.

Also, I'm ruining my child. So stay tuned for that train wreck.

In addition to obscure themed Mexican toddler parties, I'm also planning a party with the BBFF for our other BBFFs, the DSSC (our made up 90's girl group, similar to the Spice Girls and also the beginning of our short lived Catfish careers). It's our 20 year friendiversary and one of our own's going away party. Spice Rack will be leaving us for New York and so, because she is the least crafty, creative one of us (allegedly), we allowed her input in the creation of a theme for a party. She requested unicorns, rainbows and silly straws. Initially, we scoffed at her ridiculous suggestion (especially given my extreme aversion to all things unicorn related, more on that later), but...BUT...the wheels started turning and it's led to this moment. The most incredible theme of our party planning careers.


...and also some Spice Girls.

Because, of course, unicorns vomit rainbows and glitter while simultaneously listening to Viva Forever.

I'll let that sink in a bit.

So, that's what's happening. Glitter is everywhere. Not sure if you know that glitter is The Herp of the crafting world. It's just everywhere and it shows up where you least expect it and it just never goes away.

And then conversations like this are happening.

Are you ridiculously entertained yet? Of course you are.

Guys, I'm bloggin' everyday this month. Super ambitious considering how lengthy the month of February is. Also, I'm quite aware that this is the 2nd and I didn't blog yesterday. But, it's Groundhog Day, so I figure I'll have a chance to catch up tomorrow...or tomorrow...or tomorrow.

Bye, guys! Hope your day is worth repeating!