Rich mom, poor mom

I wrote this last week and I was a little nervous to post it, but you know, whatever. Watch out for the wind, I threw some caution in it.
So, I read this article. And it just...rubbed me the wrong way. There are some totally valid points, I think, but it just got me thinking about all sorts of groan-inducing opinions I've heard of late and instead if being a crazy Facebook commenter, I thought I'd spare the world and free-style here in my bubble.
The article talks about the fallacy of the increased trend of "opt-out" moms, who are educated, higher income moms who chose staying home over careers. It addresses that the majority of stay at home moms have to stay home because their potential earnings don't allow them to pay for child care, and that they're high school educated or less and surviving on less than $25,000 a year. Somehow it also downplays the accomplishments of opt-out moms, because they have chosen to stay home while others are forced to. I hate to get on my soap box on this one, but fuck if I'm not pissed off...kinda.
"Opt-out" moms may be the minority, but what this article needs to address is that these moms "opted-in" on education & other life-changing decisions earlier in life, which gave them the option to opt-out, a "luxury" that has been afforded to them because of the decisions they made. Educated moms and moms who have a higher household income are obviously going to have different options and lives from their less educated and lower income counterparts, regardless as to whether they stay home with kids or have amazing careers. Elitist or not, it holds true that educated women will probably have much different careers than uneducated women, but doesn't the same fact carry over to the idea that these two groups of women will have vastly different stay at home mom experiences, which have nothing to do with the "option" part of the whole thing. Whether you're raising kids on $25,000 a year and clipping coupons or you're living on six figures and your home is "Pinterest ready", it's all effing hard. Ask any mom! There are just different challenges, none of which should be downplayed. Saying that you're able to have a Pinterest-able life because you have a higher household income is completely ridiculous. It's about the priorities that we set in our homes, and what works for one family may not work for another. It has nothing to do with household income! This is the equivalent of saying that an educated woman is going to be better at her chosen profession than an uneducated woman is at hers. It's simply not true. Yes, they will have different experiences, but to say that one has it easier than the other and, as such, is a better worker is laughable. Uneducated and low income stay at home moms should be praised for their success as a mom, and not shamed or patronized because of their demographic, just as educated and higher income stay at home moms' efforts shouldn't be downplayed because of their demographic.

I think my brows almost collapsed on themselves when I read this passage,

"Ultimately, the opt-out story is a fantasy: that if women just made the right decisions, their lives could be worry-free. But the "decision" to live on one six-figure income is only available to a tiny fraction of Americans — for many more, raising kids is a struggle, whether Mom works or not"

Raising kids is a struggle for the majority of Americans who don't make six figures? You're kidding? I had no idea. The rest of us who opted-in are finding parenthood to be a breeze. "Come children, lets go to the museum before our stop at Whole Foods, but I've got to grab my Kate Spade purse and run by Starbucks first. After all, if didn't have these things this parenting thing may be hard and it's because of our vast wealth that I'm able to parent you with such purpose and attention. Thank heavens I made the decision to be 'worry-free'"

Seriously? This shit is just insulting, to like, ALL moms.

Success and accomplishment in your life have more to do with ambition and commitment than your income. I will forever be peeved by the assumption that I'm able to accomplish what I accomplish in my home based on my husband's income or my decision to stay home. I accomplish these things because I'm good at this! Rich (which I'm certainly not), poor, rain, shine, zombie apocalypse, I've got this skillz, which don't pay the bills, but skills nonetheless. This one facet of life, where I excel, shouldn't be downplayed because I have the option to explore it. I'd hopefully excel at something else in my career if it hadn't been my choice to stay home instead, but it would be because of the effort I put into it and not my household income. If I excelled in some aspect of my career it would probably be based on my education and the drive in which I applied to the advancement of my abilities. This holds true for teachers, cashiers, accountants, bartenders, CEOs and Walmart greeters, just as it holds true for stay at home moms. I worked my ass off in school, planned and prepared for grad school, moved out of state, sacrificed in order to afford grad school, and then walked out of the GRE right into the car and told my boyfriend (now my husband) that I wanted to get married and have kids. It was at THIS point that I "opted" to be a stay at home mom, but I also put as much effort into my home and family as I would have put into my advanced degree and my future career. A two year masters program was the traded for a five year program of hard work, sacrifice and a butt-load of education in another "field". Did I want a baby and husband immediately? Well, duh? Yeah, I did. But just as I couldn't approach my profession without a Masters, I wasn't about to approach my future as a stay at home with any less preparation. It meant learning to cook, clean, create. It meant working hard and saving for the future. It meant lighting aromatherapy candles, incorporating food with good fat and antioxidants for brain health, and playing the right tempo of classical music at the right volume to assist with math skill retention while my guy studied. Did this help him become brilliant and successful? I don't know. Some of it did, some of it didn't, but I had to attempt and embrace what I, personally, could do to make my "option" happen. And that meant helping my guy to accomplish and excel in his educational and career goals.

You can be naturally "good" at something and regardless of the situation, excel at that thing. However, people who are great at what they do, as mothers or CEOs, are usually "great" because of their effort and commitment. Effort and commitment to anything has nothing to do with your education level or your income, but sometimes your education and income are the direct result of your effort and commitment. So comparing existence and magnitude of moms' struggles and triumphs in relation to their education level and income ignores the reality that our decisions and acceptance of personal responsibility are what shape the fabric of our lives, as mothers, as wives, as students, as employees, as friends, as a homeless guy, as an unemployed college graduate, as a nun, and as a serial killer. Regardless of the hand we're dealt, we always have control over our decisions.

Women the who have seven figure household incomes and women who have five figure household incomes may or may not be able to rock some royal icing like I can, but it doesn't have anything to do with money or education. It has to do with my decision to make time to make it happen, because it's a priority for me. Even if it's 3 am and I will be a completely crappy, zombie mom tomorrow morning and I end up leaving my kid with DJ Lance Rock. I made the choice. This obviously extrapolates to much more important decisions, but sometimes the long list of little decisions affect the structure of our life. Just ask Subway Jared. Sandwiches. His life was forever changed by sandwiches. I'm just saying.

Now, it needs to be said that I am eternally grateful for the life I am afforded and the knowledge that at least for today, I can feed my family and have a roof over our heads. And I know that some families aren't as lucky, as a result of things beyond their control.

Again:

Me: crazy fortunate and grateful for everything I have, some of which is the result if my decisions, some fate.

Some: not as fortunate, some of which is a result of poor decisions, some fate.

Some: not as fortunate, totally shitty luck at life, but decide to make the most of life and make good decisions with the choices they are given.

BUT, all of these instances can result in someone being an awesome stay at home mom, or a shitty one for that matter, and it doesn't have shit to do with income or education. So give props where props are deserved, because being a mom is flipping hard, ya'll!

I'm rambling. There are like three flies in the house. I'm out of milk, and my kid, who is currently pouring his water on the dog, needs lunch, which will of course be a peanut butter sandwich, because regardless of your education and income, you cannot convince a two year old to eat anything else.

Home. Decisions. Sandwiches. Jared. Carter. Connections. Out.

I'm going to eat this blog

So, I'm on the last few days of a crazy restrictive diet and instead of eating my face, I've been meal planning and pinning the crap out of my pinterest boards. In the past year we've changed our eating habits to pretty low-carb, grain free, sugar free, crap free, blah, blah, blah. This stands true for normal life, but birthdays and parties we throw and "the holidays" don't really care about our big asses and, as such, we eat as we please, which is good for a balanced life and all. I guess?
Anyhow, I was going to blog about my delicious experiment this week, which was also my own little exercise in self-inflicted torture. With all of the pinteresting that I've been up to, I happened to come across many things that have no business in my "real life" meal planning, but had to be pinned and pined over nonetheless. So, I saw these Circus Animal Cracker Cookie Truffles and was like, ahhh bitch, I'm gonna make the shit out of you. Of course, I can't eat these. Not even a nibble. Nada. So, when my friend had pinned the same thing and we later discussed our love for circus animal crackers, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to spoil my preggers pal, get my creative energy out and about, and torture myself with the making of foods that I cannot even taste (this is not the first time I've done this. Not this year. Not even this month). Also, Easter. Decision made. And thus, Easter Egg Circus Animal Cracker Cookie Truffles were born with a very unfortunate name. They were...so effing delicious!!! Yes, I caved and ate a bite. A bite! Well, two bites, since the first one was a taste that I spit out and the second was one I actually ate because my husband was disgusted that I'd waste such a glorious creation. Aren't you initially impressed with my amazing willpower, and then later disappointed in my complete lack of conviction? Yeah, so a bite. I gained a pound. No joke. Actually it was 1.6 lbs. Worth it...at the time, but now I'm in a shame spiral.
So, you might be asking, where are photos of these wondrous little eggs of delight? Well, my camera thinks they're delicious and refuses to hand them over for blog type viewing. That's not true. I just cant find the ipad to photo card adapter. It's one of those things where you take something very important and put it in a "special safe place" and then you can't remember where the eff that place is!?! And I can, like, see it in my head, like it's just out in the open somewhere and I'm totally missing it. Or, it could be one of those times where you see something all the time and think, I must put that somewhere before it gets damaged or lost, and then you don't and then it gets damaged...or lost. Nonetheless, there are no photos here. There are a few floating in the instagram world from people who have had the good sense to photograph them with their iphone before eating them. Feel free to scour the internets for that. I'm sure you will.
This is an on-going post, I guess.
To be continued...
...let me know if you see my adapter.

UPDATE!!!
Photos were freed and posted to their bloggy home, check them out here

On the list

Blogging is on my to-do list. Does that count?

Sit-ups are also on my to-do list. Yeah. Ask my bikinis how that's worked out.

I miss you, blog. Do you miss me? Circle yes or no.
I did some stuff. I'll write soon. Don't forget about me...

Doin' Valentine's Day Stuff

Now and then I do stuff.

It's this kind of stuff, but stuff nonetheless.

When you're dieting over Valentine's Day and you need to distract yourself from chocolate truffles and champagne, tea can seem pretty exciting. This Yogi Caramel Apple Spice Snack Tea is my friend lately. I think the idea that tea is considered a "snack" is both extremely accurate and depressing. Anyhow, working on some details to lure our minds away from what we're missing and I thought, felt hearts! Felt hearts are my go-to. For everything. Take a trip back to this for more on that business. So, felt hearts make tea more festive and bakers twine makes everything awesome.




No need for step-by-step instructions here, right?

My Valentine's Day wish for you is that you don't have to make tea festive because your face is filled with chocolate. Vosges is our usual Valentine's Day tradition. Do yourself a favor and eat box. Report back in full detail. I fully plan on having a do-over Valentine's Day that will include Vosges in my face.

And I'm off to have a "snack"...

Blaaaah-g

Remember that auto-save thingie I mentioned last time? So, I'm still a moron. Another blog bites the dust.
So, I do "stuff", hence the name and also the lack of time to blog. It's tough to blog when you're doing stuff, but I'll get there.
Here's a completely ridiculous, self-indulgent statement for you; I want to record the stuff I do or did so that I can link up to my stuff on Pinterest. I've found three different things that I've done, floating around Pinterest and there's no, "Yella did this shit" to be found.
Zach Morrris Time Out:
Every time I see Yelladoesstuff I think of adult related activies, a la Debbie Does Dallas and various other locales. To clarify, Yella does not to THAT stuff on the blog.
Time in.
The party planning is in full swing, which means lots of trips to random places to find various things. So many places, that yesterday evening when I asked my future birthday boy if he wanted to go "bye-bye", I was met with a definitive, "Noooo".
Between the running around and the constant glittering that's happening, I've been pressed for time and have found myself planning at night. By this I mean I am up at 3 am comparing eleventy billion different types of wooden spoons or tracking down things like oh, lets just say, small milk bottles with a very specific lid. You haven't lived until you find your self perusing a dairy farm's website in the middle if the night trying to rationalize the purchase of a pallet of milk jugs. Sometimes this is the stuff that is done. However, I may have found a solution with Starbucks, which is where most solutions come from. Coffee fixes all things.




I'll let you know how that works out. Also, there will be lots of Vanilla frappucchino going down the drain at my house. I'll save it in a jug for you if you want.
Yet another reason to own a pallet of milk bottles.
And I found (supposedly) non-poisonous Luchadores action figures at the dollar store, because of course I did. Lead-free is the way to be, y'all. I'm wondering if I can paint them in Nacho Libre colors.
This is the "stuff".

Fun Facts For the Fourth

Because it's the fourth.
And because I'm blogging everyday, so...

1. This is the second time I've written this blog because I didn't save it, like a moron. And now I feel like it's back in the day before auto-save and you had to, like, constantly save your shit.

2. There are no little plastic luchadors for sale in the US. Evidently the adorable little luchadores I am seeing all over Pinterest are full of poison and are not suitable for sale here, BUT you can pick them up in Mexico and the UK. Ponder.

3. Speaking of Pinterest, I have a Shameful Secret Obsessions board, which also includes things that freak me out. Peruse at your leisure and we'll compare notes in a later blog.

4. My husband loves this video clip and says, "Gurrrl please" at least once a day. There is also an almost two year old who says this as well. BEST. PARENTS. EVAAAAR.

5. I sold something on eBay today to someone in the Netherlands. So that's more trouble than it's worth.

6. There's something happening in the world, like, Vampire Lift or something? I heard about it via my mother, via her Botox...err, I mean facial...person, and it's something about injecting your own blood somewhere else, like, on your face? Is this going to be a thing?

7. There is an advanced copy of The Hobbit in my possession at this very moment, but it SHOULD be an advanced copy of the first few episodes of Games of Thrones! What good are Hollywood hookups if they can't get it right?!?! Also, I'm extremely ungrateful.

8. I know what happens on the last episode of season 3 of Downton Abbey, because in addition to being ungrateful, I'm also impatient (what a gem, right?) and so I bought the TV pass on Amazon Instant Video.

9. When does Grand Theft Auto 5 come out? Okay, not a fact, but when?

10. The Fun Facts For the Fourth is totally for naught, because its now the Fifth. Sad trombone.

Bloggin' daily, folks. The thrills just keep coming.

Any fun facts for you on the Fourth, or Fifth I guess?

More like Super Suck...

I'm sorry. That wasn't even clever.
I'm having a rough day. Actually, it's the shittiest day ever. EVER. At some point I overestimated my abilities and decided to schedule my diet so that it intersected with Super Bowl Sunday. Intersected isn't the right word. Collided in a fiery explosion of self pity, self deprivation, and sugar-free gum. Yes, that's accurate. This is another reason why resolutions shouldn't start in January. Further, they shouldn't start until after Super Bowl Sunday. Honestly, who the hell thinks it's a great idea to diet on a day that's entire existence is based upon drinking beer and eating every delectable, sinful, indulgent food you can imagine, while sitting in oversized jerseys and watching commercials?!? And there's also a game of some sort.
I am the person that does this. Or has done this, this one time. But, never again, guys. Never. Again.
When I diet, I diet. I focus, I plan, I create deadlines, and I stick to it. Most of the time it's because I'm extremely stubborn and want to see if I can survive it. Evidently I have issues with self-deprivation, which is fun to watch. Enjoy. So, there is no way I can take a "cheat day" or some ridiculous thing like that. Ho ho ho, no! Not this girl. Instead, I suffer through and think that on Monday morning I'll feel like I've accomplished some great feat, albeit a completely unnecessary feat that is completely pointless and makes no difference in the long run. But explaining that to the stubborn little gnome that lives in my brain will get you a disapproving look and probably a kick in the shins. So today, the gnome wins and I will evidently feel elated and full of triumph tomorrow. I'm somewhat positive that this gnome is a sadistic liar.
While "accomplishing" my gnome-imposed goal today (and by "accomplishing" I mean bitching and moaning all day while chewing sugar-free gum), I found myself hiding in the car in front of a rainbow painted pinata store with bars on its windows while an insane man walked into traffic and attempted to fight anything, including moving cars, that crossed his path. I think it goes without saying that I had to travel to the ghetto in order to experience such stunning display of humanity...and probably bath salts. After that delightful outing, we wandered around the Mexican market looking for luchador party supplies, which was super awesome considering that there is obviously mexican food at the Mexican market. This is when the gnome just starts fucking with me for funsies. Anyhow, we left with assorted bottles of Jarritos for the party, which will probably only be used for aesthetic because we don't drink soda and the gnome frowns at sugar, soooo? I also had a moment of, you are the whitest Mexican ever, when I bought multiple cans of tomato paste and enchilada sauce for the sole purpose of using the cute cans for a Pinterest project. Yeah. So that happened.
Then this happened...




And then I watched commercials, chewed more gum, pondered the physics of getting a unicorn horn to stay stuck on my head, Beyonce and her backup singers sang, I sent a video of cats playing a xylophone version of Independent Women to my BBFF, and then...blog.
Actually, I almost forgot to blog, but my husband asked me if I was blogging when I was emailing wine stores at midnight, as you do, and I thought, you are the worst daily blogger evaaaar! The blog gnome has nothing on the stubborn diet gnome. Actually, the blog gnome is a wuss who get distracted by internet shopping. Loser.
That was the stubborn gnome talking.
Hope you enjoyed a blissful day of carbs and alcohol and football and joy and mirth!!!
I hate you.
Not really, it's just the gnome talking.